Why Rebecca Black is everything that is RIGHT in the world

Despite the terrible lyrics, shockingly bad music video, annoying voice and, well, everything... Rebecca Black is nonetheless everything that is right about the world.

This needs to be said from the outset: I hate Rebecca Black. That “Friday” song of hers – to quote Dylan Moran – sounds like typewriters eating tinfoil being kicked down stairs. Her voice is annoying. The music video is annoying. She is, essentially, annoying.

Yet Rebecca Black is everything that is right with the world. Yep, you heard correctly. She is what is right about the world.

And I can explain why in one simple sentence: she’s proof that anyone can live the dream. (And for sake of clarity, “the dream” refers to that inner desire we each have to be famous, to be spoken about, and to have more money than we know what to do with. Don’t deny it. You have that same dream.)

As of 9.27pm South African time last night, the official “Friday” music video had 87 944 639. Yep, 87-million-944-thousand-600-and-39 hits. And this only since February 10, 2011, when it was first posted. Young Bekkie has been mentioned in millions of tweets (okay, so I haven’t counted, but I’m assuming this is the case) and her song was even used by one of my colleagues as a ringtone – yes, S’ne, I have named and shamed you on my blog (you can check her out on @Sthombe on Twitter).

But here’s the thing: we all want that. Even on a small scale, we want what Andy Warhol dubbed our “15 minutes of fame”. Why do you think shout-outs work so well on radio? Why do you think people will deliberately jump in front of TV cameras? It’s simply because we want some level of fame. We don’t want obscurity – unless our obscurity is essentially what makes us famous.

Rebecca Black has that fame. She’s lost all obscurity. Our ears have been punished because of it and for her to acheive it, but that doesn’t take away from what she has done. Isn’t that why we disl… Wait, let me rephrase. Isn’t that why I dislike her so much, perhaps? Because she’s achieved what I would like to one day achieve? Although, I do hope I’m considerably less irritating.

Rebecca Black is exactly what is right about the world. And I’ll even explain why using a list, you know, for effect and stuff:

  • She is proof that anyone can rise from obscurity; that fame is attainable. If it wasn’t for YouTube, all “Friday” would have been is some stupid girl’s song on a VCR that will be played at her 21st as her parents seek to make her blush. But no! It’s now a “hit” (and, yes, I use that term extremely loosely) with 87-what-what-million views. Isn’t that a good thing? Isn’t it brilliant that such obscurity can be overcome in about four minutes on the Internet? Those were rhetorical quesitons, but I’ll answer anyway: Yes. Yes it is.

Okay, so my list only consisted of one item, but that was enough to prove my point. I could’ve said Bekkie is proof of the power of the Internet. I could’ve said she’s proof of what a 13-year-old can do with enough will power and parents with deep enough pockets. I could’ve said she’s proof of how modern pop culture is slowly entrenching itself on a younger and youger audience. But I didn’t. And I didn’t because there was no need to.

Her fame is enough proof. And as terrible as “Friday” is, as terrible as her voice is and as terrible as the music video is, Rebecca Black is exactly what is right about the world.

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